worst mama ever!

Today it happened..... Annikah's first real injury (besides shots at the Dr's office and the trauma of being born- that was pretty bad for both of us). I gotta say at least she goes BIG! No little head bumps or face plants for my baby. No, she fell off the kitchen counter. The scene: she was happily sitting in her BUMBO seat on the counter (ok, I know, it clearly states on the box that you should never do this but almost every Mom I know has done it). I was getting lunch ready for both of us, the entire time never more than a foot away from her. She was amusing herself by grabbing and then dropping everything in her reach while I rushed around. I cut some grapes and filled her tray with finger foods. In one hand I grabbed her highchair tray and in the other I had my lunch as I walked past Anni to set everything down on the table. In that instant she lurched forward and turned in an attempt to grab the food and then it happened. She propelled her little self off the counter onto the floor. I saw it is slow motion out of the corner of my eye and at first thought she has launched yet another item onto the floor. When I realized it was Anni I still had both hands full. I dropped everything and ran but I missed her and she thudded on the floor. It was so sad. Her little face looked at me and her eyes swelled with tears as if to say "why, Mama, did you do this irresponsible thing? Why didn't you save me from myself? Isn't that your job?" I was heartbroken. She cried for just a minute once I held her and was back to chowing down her lunch a few minutes later but I was still shook up.

I called Jason at work for comfort and his first statement was "what if she has a brain bleed?" That really makes you feel better let me tell you. I then hit a full on panic and decided to call our pediatrician (who we are seeing tomorrow for an ear recheck). She said not to worry unless she was very tired or appeared not to be herself but she was fabulously cute and besides the bump on her head was her adorable self. The doctor also added "honey, don't worry it happens to everyone." Even if she was lying I appreciated the vote of confidence as I felt sure Jason was dialing DCFS from work and if I ever wanted to see Anni again we may have to go on the run. I still feel terrible but she recovered like a champ and seems to have completely forgotten and forgiven me for my gross inadequacies (it seems with me as a mother she may have to get used to this (the forgiving, hopefully not the plummeting from high surfaces). So, that is my story of being the worst Mom ever...letting my precious baby tumble 4 feet onto a hard kitchen floor........top that one!