just tired of being a mama

Today I am just tired of being a mama. I know that this is my role right now and God has blessed me with an awesome family but it is just the little things that make me want to scream, or drive far far away, or take a cool bath and read. I think I shall pick the later tonight. I know that tomorrow will be better and that maybe she is teething or just grouchy and I need to be more patient, have more grace and understanding but blick to all that! I need a personal day :) Here is gripe list and I promise upon venting I will adopt a much happier attitude:

Today I changed Anni's outfit 3 times before 2pm. Our condo is so hot, like hades hot, as we thought it was pretty much safe to take out all the window AC units one we had a 30 degree day, I guess not in Chicago! I attempted to feed Anni lunch while she decided throwing the food was more enjoyable. I was babysitting a little girl (10 months) that lives in our neighborhood and Anni was having none of it. Annikah decided that if I did not hold her the entire time she would scream and clench onto my leg as if someone was repeatedly stabbing her. We got home and I poured myself my last diet coke with lime into a big glass with ice (so fabulous) and while I turned around to grab Anni's car toy she got to it first and proceeded to dump it all over herself and the floor (hence clothes change #3). After Anni took a very short afternoon nap (I think due to the heat because she was sweating when I got her) we went out to the library, usually an Annikah fav. After walking about 6 blocks it began to rain, no pour, I swear I thought we saw Noah and some animals floating by. We ducked in and waited it out making our trip home past her dinnertime thus prompting her to scream the entire way. Once home she ate her dinner but again thought everything I was offering was apparently gruel. Since Anni has a bad diaper rash I; in my kindness and concern, let her run around for a few minutes in the buff as the air is supposed to help. She was indeed happy but repaid my kindness by peeing on the floor (at least I had not really cleaned up the diet coke from earlier so now a mopping is in order). Then, the piece de resistance: I put Anni in her bath and she promptly "dropped a deuce" as my brother so chic-ly puts it. That was fun to clean up. Jason got to miss out on all the merriment as he has grad school tonight.
Sometimes I just want to not clean or comfort or cook or console or care for. I am just having a moment, I am sure it will be brief, of being worn out and tired of this whole Mama gig. Ok, I am off to the bath (of course after a bit of scrubbing) with my book as I want to make the most of my alone time. Maybe I will soak off my funky attitude and have a new outlook for tomorrow.