reflections on my brief stint as a single mom
In my almost 2 weeks without Jason I have discovered more than just that I LOVE sleeping in the whole bed with all the pillows!! Here is a brief list...
*I am more capable than I thought of handling the day to day with Annikah, we even got into our own groove and rhythm.
*I love rocking her to sleep, since putting Anni to bed is usually Jason's gig I have enjoyed these quiet precious moments with her.
*Being sick makes you always want your Mommy (and lucky for me mine showed up with her superhero cape and whisked Anni away for a long lakefront nap so I could sleep)
*I can actually take out the trash myself (but do not think this will continue once Jason is back as king of the castle :)
*Not having to make dinner or get things done around the house gives me extra time to catch up with girlfriends, have lunch, go for walks, and even (gasp!) take a nap!
*No one except Jason likes to hear a 20 minute oration about the incredibly adorable way Anni eats a cracker and impressive way she drinks from her sippy cup
*We have a fabulous and caring network of friends & family that checked in, called, sent cards, visited, had us over, and hung out with us. I recognize this as a true blessing- Thanks to all!*I appreciate not only the huge contribution Jason makes to our family like being a financial provider, a protector, a confidant, a friend, a great listener, a fun Papa, etc but also the seemingly little things like opening and sorting all the mail (sorry about the huge pile in advance- I only do cute envelopes:)), taking care of our bills, and other things I often take for granted. As much as I sometimes complain I really do like our division of labor and the way "we work" together.
*I compromise a lot in my marriage (not about monumental things mind you but mostly about what to do, eat, watch, spend time and money on, etc). I am by no means complaining here (lest you hear the violin music in the background) because I have an amazing partner but rather just acknowledging that after 6 years or marriage the compromise feels so normal, so familiar, so natural, so who we are. This is what marriage is about and one reason I consider ours to be a good marriage but with time alone I realized that I do need time to be me, not to ask myself what should "we" do but rather what do I want to do to feed who I am. Sort of like the difference between self determination and true democracy, I prefer to shift between the two. Hey, maybe I should even write my own 14 Points (Woodrow Wilson would be so proud).
*That I like quiet more than I did a few years ago. I have always considered myself a screaming extrovert (the thought of being alone every night for even a week would have killed me 5 years ago) but these past two weeks I was happy to just be alone and even be quiet. After Annikah went to bed several nights I enjoyed being with me. I am hoping for more of this time because I know with quiet reflection God often speaks to encourage and challenge my heart. I read last night in Isiah 30
"In your quietness and confidence is your strength"
I am praying for more.
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