"Papa I'm ready"

This time has been weighty and on many days I feel like I am doing NOTHING well; I'm spread thin and emotionally a mess, my thoughts are scattered & I'm lacking patience and grace for others and myself. 
And it makes perfect sense to me God has much to say right in the midst of the chaos and mess and my weakness.  His voice is so needed.

As Jason was putting Abishai to bed this week he asked J, "Papa, I'm ready to follow God. Can we pray?" We all crowded into Abishai's room with legos covering the floor and books strewn on the bed and we lived imperfectly into what family means. Loving and listening and fumbling through the best of moments. Abishai asked questions and we offered our limited but hard earned wisdom about God and our journey and asked Abishai about his life.  He laughed and cried and in a rare moment did not act like a cool or tough guy.  This seemed out of no where but as we reflected it was culmination of so many small moments.  Small moments matter more than we ever know IN them.  We prayed together and Abishai told Jesus thank you and asked for God to hep Him in life.  It is a powerful moment when we sense our own smallness and yet God's care that it is beyond our comprehension.   

I am learning to be more confident in believing that all the little moments matter, that it is not the flashy things the world values that make us who we are but the daily choices to show up, embrace your weakness, and push through anyway.  Maybe you need this reminder too that what you are building in the quiet, small moments is really BIG.  Bigger than you know.  It matters and Jesus sees you.  

I am reminded the work of restoration is not actions we take- rather it is the work of God in each of us.  It is beyond tidy answers and when we come as children we are blessed. It defies our limited comprehension but when you witness God making things new & starting with you it takes your breath away and the only response is awe and gratefulness. 

We celebrated this new birth with a birthday cake- green was his color of choice.  This is a legacy that matters. It is messy and beautiful. Happy Day!