Saturday, February 4, 2012

My middle name

My middle name is Corinne. I was named after my Mom's mother. My dear Grandma who was known by everyone as Cory. She was tall, feisty, an animal lover completely devoted to her dogs, made a mean apple pie, loved to eat as every woman in our family does, devoured books so fast she could wear out a library staff, cooked amazing food, could argue anything politics for hours, and loved and defended her family with the strength to revival any man.


On Friday I woke up early to read His word and workout as usual. After about 20 minutes Jason joined me on the couch and snuggled me close and told me he had just read online that my grandmother passed.
And it was like in that moment everything stood still. It was not real because I am here surrounded by things so different. We knew leaving home for so far away that this was "part of the deal" and we lost Jason's Grandfather last year but still I was unprepared for the ache I would feel to see my Mom. The time difference meant I had to wait to call her. My mom is an only child and she has been taking care of her parents relentlessly for months. I cried and sobbed and was angry I was so far away and unable to help. I asked Jason to watch the kids and went out to run. I just needed to pound pavement and pray and get away. Running past chickens, neighbors greeting me, school children clad in matching uniforms and head covering on their way to school I prayed and breathed. And I was comforted. Because I know His plan was for us to be here. It is not what I would choose but I trust that His plans are better than mine.

I talked to my mom and we prayed and cried and laughed. I love my Mom. She is a rockstar for being so strong and loving so much even when it is really hard. She assured me that getting on a plane was stupid since my Grandmother had clearly told all of us she did not want a big ceremony or open casket showing- she promised if we did this she would haunt us all from the grave. Yep, that is why I love her!! Don't mess with the women in our family....just saying! So when we are back stateside this summer we will have a family service and scatter her ashes in Lake Geneva and remember her life and the impact she had on ours. I found this picture of celebrating her birthday last time we were stateside. German chocolate cake and my beautiful Grandma with her grand daughter.
gma
Grandma Cory, I love you and we will all miss you. Praying you have peace and are in His arms at rest. May He comfort us in your absence as it will be felt.
RoxanneSignature

5 comments:

Emily Clarkson said...

Oh sweet friend. That's so sad. Praying for blessing and strength upon you as you grieve from afar.

Bibi Ronnie said...

So beautiful, as you are. Much better than my worry bouy entry. Love you.

Bibi Ronnie said...

Also wanted to tell you that you made Mom proud carrying her name. You follow in her footsteps in every way, except maybe the Apple pie part.

Stan and Jess said...

So sorry Rox! I know how frustrating that is when you are too far away to feel like you can do anything. Big hugs to you and your family! Prayers.

jkww said...

Dear Rox, I'm sorry. Prayers for you and your family and your dear mom. Ugh. I've done the running-while-crying thing, and it's amazing how it feels to sweat tears. Love you.