school days

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For years after I quit teaching I would cry on the first day of school. Whenever I saw kids in uniforms walking from bus stops to school with shiny new backpacks I would miss the days I had my own classroom and family of kids.  Those days were also so hard and gut wrenching but the days in my classroom were dear to me.  I so want that classroom experience for my kids.
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Our girls started school just down the street a couple weeks ago.  I wrote about our decision here and as we made our way there the first day so much emotion was ready to burst from me and my emotional eldest daughter.  A neighbor came by to stay with the other 4 girls so Anni and I could walk holding hands to her first day.  We prayed together that she would be a blessing, that she would learn and grow, and be brave. I'm so proud of her.  The girls have been through a lot of transition and they are learning to be brave and rely on God even when everything changes around them.  Annikah started tearing up when her teacher said it was time to line up and walk in and I was so glad I was wearing my ever present too big sunglasses so no one could see me start to cry too.  They say this gets easier but all I know is watching your kids experience life and change and joy and pain is the best and hardest gig of my life.
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The chaos that is school drop off is pretty crazy and last week I even decided to add to the stress of it all by side swiping another Mom's car. God bless J who got a call of a blubbering prego during his first hour at work.
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Evy started preschool a few days after her big sister and was all smiles the first day especially since Zoe walked her to class.
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As soon as I came to pick her up she was sobbing.  Turns out her biggest objection to public school is that they ask you to go potty too much.  We have only had two days since the first day without tears at drop off but we are hoping things get better.  It helps that she made friends with a couple girls who are so sweet and they hold her hands when the tears are welling up.
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My big girls going to school.  It is true friends "the days are sometimes long but the years are so short." We are expectant and praying for a great year.
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